SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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