Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you inspire me to be a worse person
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
