is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
