I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
and she was petting her beer can
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
