Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
this is an emotional support booty call
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
