youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
