the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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