Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
