so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
