Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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