so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
