when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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