Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
