I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
