i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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