I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
