Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
