and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
