I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
