Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
