Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
