ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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