I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
