Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
