idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Randomize
