im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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