Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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