508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Oh god it's open bar.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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