I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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