The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
