I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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