So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
