You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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