When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
