can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
