Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
