you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
