So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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