I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
