No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
