So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think I sprained my soul last night
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
