My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
