you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
