i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Holy sore nipples Batman
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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