I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
