I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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