bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
