WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
