well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
