a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
