You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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